I Tryed To Be Perfect, But Nothing Was Worth It

Nov 30, 2004

Quiz thingy

1. WHAT IS Your FULL NAME? megan helena mazarek
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? pink pj bottems
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? aol radio -Ryan cabrera * true
4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? taco
5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? yeah
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? <- that color lol
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? rainy cold
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? bre
9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? yeah
10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? 14
11. FAVORITE DRINK? root beer
12. FAVORITE SPORT? umm. . .?
13. HAIR COLOR? brown with blonde highlights
14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no
15. SIBLINGS? only child
16. FAVORITE MONTH? June/ december
17. FAVORITE FOOD? chicken / tacos
18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? S.W.A.T.
19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? June 17/ x-mas break
20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? yell
21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? polly pckets
22. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer
23. HUGS OR KISSES? both..
24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? vanilla
25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/ E-MAIL BACK? sure?
26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one lol
27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? everyone
28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? aunt, me, g-ma(till january)
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? um... like a few days ago
30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? my speakers till i find room to put my stereo, and shoes 31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? bre
32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? got my hair done
33. FAVORITE SMELLS? um.. guys adidas and holiser =)
34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? things
35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? getting my leg cut off
36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? kettle corn lol
37. FAVORITE CAR? silver sunfire, 2 door, with blue neons
38. FAVORITE FLOWER? pink carnations
39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? non right now
40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no 41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? friday nd saterdays
42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? had a few drinks with matt, ian, and keri
43. HOW MANY STATES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 1 and canada
44. HOW MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2, champion and moffet
45. HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU HAD? me none, family- 11
46. WHAT WAS THE FIRST CAR THAT YOU OWNED? i dont know i havent owned one yet
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? trumbull

Posted at 07:06 pm by Megn
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Nov 23, 2004

Im not okay

Im so fucking tired of this shit. People need to keep their gawd damn fucking mouths shut. they shouldnt be talking about other fucking peoples personal life, we don't. and its not just me who they talk about, its everyone, how much they fucking hate them, and theyre such two-faced. And i know who said it. If i wanted people to know, id fucking tell them, not have you fucking do it. and you know exactly who the fuck you are. dont even bother fucking talking to me anymore, ive had it, and with youre fucking lies. thats all you do to me, is lie to me. what the fuck, i thought we were spossed to be fucking friends?! and what the fucks up with blaming it on youre fucking boyfriend who you "cant stand not to be with"? everyone knows how you treat him, like shit. so leave me the fuck alone and my fucking personal life.
-Dedicated-
Well my weekend sucked and ha! everyone found out from a certian bitch. great, fucking great. i guess champion is too small to keep secrets, wtf. and the great thing is, i didnt even talk about thier fucking personal life, ha! prolly cuz they didnt have one? seems like since they dont have anything to tell about them, they have to let the whole school know what i fucking did. Im going to fucking hell right now, be back at 3, if i make it that long.
-like violence, you have me, forever and after-
*megn

Posted at 03:29 am by Megn
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Nov 15, 2004

I cant go on not loving you. . .

Hey whats up? Nothing here. My aunts been a bitch today, My mom called and then Bre beeped in and wanted to ask my aunt if I could go to Michigan with her after Turkey dinner, and my aunts like "Who is that?" Im like Mom, shes like "youre grounded from the phone, remember" and yeah, and then i made a "smart remark" about her dropping the ice on the floor and she comes in and puts ice down my shirt. Well when my mom called, she asked if I would record some shows for her bc she was going to bed and didnt know how to work my g-mas VCR. So i did. Well my aunt comes in after fear factor and was like "Record Las Vegas for me" and im like "im recording shows for mom" shes like "well I dont care, i told you to record it for me, she can record it up there, and did you record the shows last night? What tape are you recording on?!" Im like "whatever, um. . . no, the tape thats in there" "Well i told you that theres North Shore on there and G-ma hasnt seen it yet" "its okay, ill catch up to it this week", g-ma. "How am I spossed to stop the progaming?"-Aunt "Hit stop or power"-me "its not working, you figure it out ::throws remote at me::" me-::walks up to vcr and hits 'Stop', it stops:: ::yells acrost house:: "yeah, that was really hard! wheres my 10$ from last night?" "wheres my $100 i gave you?" wtf?! she didnt have to give me year book money or ticket money, but she took my 10$ i earned from babysitting, in which im also getting my hair did. so yeah. Concert was good, babysitting was okay, we watched Garfeild and Shrek 2 and I watched The Day After Tomorrow, while he fell asleep durring it. so yeah, im gonna go and watch las vegas sence no ones on. Later
-These are the stories of our lives as fictional as they may seem.
*-*Megn*-*

Posted at 06:39 pm by Megn
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Nov 11, 2004

abuhubububhubugh ?

Hey whats up? Nothing here, im soo bored, Im listening to Ashlee Simpson `Autobiography` so yeah. I was listening to My Chemical Romance's `I'm Not Okay(I Promise)` but yeah. . . So I guess Im going to the Good Charlotte concert tomorrow =) sweeeet. Saterday Im babysitting Kyle, maybe? So yeah, I didnt go to school wensday, not that I was sick, well Monday, me nd my aunt got everything from my moms and brought it up here, well it was taking up her garage i guess, and tuesday night she asked me if i wanted to stay home im like hells yeah, so i did and we put together my room, well i got my old room back, me and my g-ma switched rooms, my aunts computer is now in the walk in room? i guess and my computer, daybed, and all that jazz is in my room, well when they were bringing down my tv, well there was my old one from before i got my room remodled at my moms and my new tv from x-mas, well dumbasses brought my old tv down, and my dvd player dont hook up to it, argh! oh well, theyre switching them sooner or later, hopefully sooner. Today we had a Veterans Assemb. and I fell asleep during it. so yeah, it was kinda boring, everyones leaving me, =.( oh well. I came to a conclusion to who I like, well im not gonna say becuz some prolly know, and i think only one person knows becuz i told them. well yeah, i hope it works out =) and yeah. Well Im gonna go and watch the ending of `life as we know it`. So later. Go Piston's =)
Megn- theres so much to me that you havent seen-

Posted at 06:48 pm by Megn
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Nov 5, 2004

Bueatiful Soul

Hey whats up? Nothing here, im sooo bored. Theres nothing to do =( We had early release today, yeah. I got my report card today =\ :

Rasile / History - C
Grabowski / Science - C
LaLiberti / Health - D

Grant / Gen. English -B

Miller / Work n Fam 1- B
Loree / Math - C
So yeah. . . Im grounded bc of dumbass health, i should have taken it in Summer School and taken French =\ damnit. . . Oh well, im only grounded from the phone and i can get on the computer from 9-10 and in the AM, so its not all that bad, its spossed to be for 4 weeks, but if i bring my things home and "prove" i do my work, then its only 3, 21 days without the phone, and it starts Monday. hrmm. . . the only one i basicly talk to any more is Sam, but i see him tomorrow. so yeah. Well i think we're going to get a movie or 2, leave me some =)
Am I crazy for wanting you?
Megn

Posted at 04:34 pm by Megn
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Nov 2, 2004

Eletion Day

Go Kerry and Edwards

Posted at 06:29 pm by Megn
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Nov 1, 2004

We are the kids of war and peace

Hey whats up? nothing here. . . im trying to do all this stuff and i keep forgetting about this journal. . . My weekend was fun, Savannah stayed the night all weekend, We went to the JFK/ Howland game becuz i begged her so I could go. Then we came here, and got online, and went to bed around 1 bc we had to wake up at 7:40 becuz i had to bowl =/ . . . so then we came back around 11:30 and we called matt. and hes all "We should go to the movies" so i got in the shower about 1 and then my mom called me at 6 and asked if we wanted to go to eat, so we're like sure, bc matt was out at ponderosa so we went out to eat, but we got back about 8:15 and i saw his shoes and im all "whend you get here?" hes all "about 7:15" =\ lol. . so then we went to teh movies at 10:25 and seen Saw, its pretty good, its more like a Puzzle/Mystery then anything. And sunday I did nothing, Thursday was trick-or treat, Savannah, Breanna, Larry and Dan came over, and we went around my house, it was fun, . . well i think im going to go watch CSI, later Steelers won!! Whoo Hoo!! 6-1 now =)
Megn
Cuz its all in my head,
i think about it over and over again

Posted at 06:59 pm by Megn
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Oct 26, 2004

Hrm. . ..

Hey, i haven't writing in this since like the 5th, bout 21 days ago. hrm. . . nothing to write about? im not sure, but i think it was the no time to type this thing. I havent really been getting online at nights anymore, ive usually been on the phone with Sam till like 10 and then had to shower. Well lets see. . . Friday, hrm, I was spossed to take savannah to the Howland game, but no, we went to the Canfeild Scare Grounds with Larry, Justin, Dan and Jessica. It was okay, but i coulda spent 7.50$ on something better for 15 mins other than a hayride that wasnt scarey, and i froze my ass off. Saterday I bowled, and savannah stayed again. not sure what else. . .? Sunday i did nothing. Monday nothing, it was "messed up monday" at school, and today was "Red Day" and tomorrows "Class color Day", frosh white, sophs green, jrs orange, and seniors pink, then thursdays hat day, and trick or treat at Champion, Friday's Spirit Day, me nd bre are spray painting our hair, and painting our faces with a flash, and making a shirt tomorrow. Im prolly going to the JKF vs Howland game. Saterday i Bowl and then im either going to Geauga Lake for bre's b-day, going to my cuzs halloween party, or going trick-or-treating with savannah? hrmm. . . well its 10:30 and i have to dry my hair. Well atleast i got to wirte and catch up on some? I so wanna see Saw! Well im out, later
Megn

Posted at 07:34 pm by Megn
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Oct 5, 2004

Remeber all the simple things you know

Hey whats up? nothing here. It's only 7:53 am argh. . . i still have 30 mins, (im going to the ortho) Im listening to AOL Radio. Ramones are on argh aol sucks. . . I tried to write after Homecomming, but it kicked me off so i said fuck it. . . yeah. Homecomming was fun. After HC, we went Cosmic bowling till 12:30 and then to my house till 3:30. . . Now the OC's Theme song is on -California* Phantom Planet- Cant wait till The OC starts again :-D yay lol. Im so not looking forward to going to the ortho, . . Friday we dont have school, NEOEA Day. Awesome. So we might go up to Geauga Lake? Not sure, but if we dont, I wanna go to the Southern Park Mall. =) Prolly going to the East Wood Mall and the Movies today. Re-did my profile, again. . . yeah. Well it's 8 `o clock, my mom should be here soon and im still not done getting ready. When I get my pics back, ill put some good ones on here. Later

:: Frenchee :: I miss you

Posted at 05:02 am by Megn
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Sep 22, 2004

New Profile:

"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like [x2]

Welcome to my life [x3]

Posted at 07:09 pm by Megn
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